Only Heaven Knows Read online

  “Oh, dang it.” Bryn flinched as she heard one of the orange cones crunch beneath her wheels. “I hit the Mercedes.”

  “Come forward a bit,” he muttered in an even tone, then got out and moved the dead cone, before jumping back in. “Okay, I’ll make you a deal.”

  “What’s that?” She was a little suspicious of his deals at this point.

  “If you’ll parallel park once successfully, we’ll pretend this is a lover’s lane and park the way you were thinking.”

  Bryn narrowed her eyes at him. “I don’t think I’ll be in the mood.”

  Denver snorted, looking at her with complete affection. “I bet I can change your mind.” When she didn’t argue, he returned to instructor mode. “Okay, we’re almost there. You can do this. Now, turn your wheel to the left. All the way!” He held out his hand. “Stay stopped while you do this. Good. Now, keep backing in.” His voice rose and his hand waved as he gave her directions. “Don’t turn your wheel away from the all-the-way-left position! Yes!” He celebrated with a fist pump when she finally made it to the right spot. “Lastly, turn your wheel to face forward again and you’re done!”

  “Whew!” Bryn laid her head on the wheel. “I did it once, Denver, but I’ll never do it again.”

  “Oh, yes you will. Look here.” She lifted her head and he leaned forward to steal a kiss. He had to grin when he pulled away, for she followed him, her lips still parted, wanting more. “There’s more where that came from if you have a second go at it.”

  Bryn groaned, “This is bribery.”

  “You’d better believe it. Is it working?”

  She glared at him, then licked her lips. “Yes. Dang-it.”

  “Dang-it? Bryn! You almost cursed!” He chuckled, enjoying the time he spent with her, despite the difficult task at hand.

  “Give me time. After this next attempt, I might work up to the H word.”

  “The H word.” He laughed. “You’re so cute. Now, go for it.”

  In the next few minutes, Bryn had two false starts, but she finally did it all the way through without any coaching and without running over another orange cone or the invisible Mercedes behind her.

  “Excellent! I’m so proud of you.”

  “Thank you.” The sun was creeping lower in the sky when Bryn relaxed in the driver’s seat. “I still can’t believe you did this for me.” She locked eyes with him. “Why, Denver?”

  Feeling a mite uncomfortable, he shrugged. “I don’t know. I like you and you needed me.”

  “I did. I do!” she agreed, her heart overflowing. “And I need you now even more.” She held her arms open.

  Denver assessed their situation, this car was not designed for romantic encounters. Slipping his hand down to the controls next to the door, he sent his seat sliding all the way to the back. “Come here.”

  She giggled and eased over the console and into his lap. “Now, this is the type of parking I had in mind.”

  As much as he wanted to take advantage of the situation, a slight feeling of guilt began to worm its way into his mind. Bryn wasn’t just any woman. “You do realize this is not why I bought the car.”

  “I know,” Bryn acknowledged his concern. “I never thought it was, I know you.”

  Her trust made him feel even worse. “No, you don’t really know me at all.” Denver exhaled in frustration, his damned cock was so hard it ached. Despite his resolve, he rolled his hips, craving the contact with her delectable ass.

  “I think I do. You’re good.” She gave him a kiss. “And kind.” Another kiss. “And so good-looking.”

  As her lips skimmed over his, Denver’s resistance thawed. “I’m going to hell,” he muttered as he began to plant feverish kisses to her neck and face. In between the kisses, he tried to explain. “I’m turned on, Bryn. So hot for you I’m about to combust. Being alone with you like this is all I think about.” Seemingly, of its own volition, his hand slid up her arm and cupped the nape of her neck, tilting up her chin. Still in the throes of need, his lips found hers and he licked and nipped at her mouth until she opened for his tongue.

  The whole evening was so unexpected, so perfect, she didn’t want to think – only feel. Panting when the heat of his mouth moved from her lips and skated along her throat, she gasped as he sucked on the soft flesh of her neck. The unfamiliar sensation was so erotic, jolts of pleasure zinged straight to her breasts and between her legs. “Oh, Denver!” Needing more, she removed his hat and tossed it into the driver’s seat, before sliding her hands into his hair.

  Denver was shaking with need. She was so damn soft, and she smelled so good. The little whimpers of pleasure and the sighs of need, drove him mad with desire. The only thing keeping him from pushing for what he needed more than air, was the knowledge that she was so new to all of this. When she let her hands slide to his chest to begin tugging at the buttons of his shirt, he knew it was time to stop – before he couldn’t. He didn’t want her first time to be in the front of a car. “Bryn, baby…”

  Bryn didn’t comprehend the tone of his voice, all she heard was the endearment. Her emotions were soaring, her body was feeling things she’d never felt before, and the most wonderful man in the world was at her disposal. All the information she’d garnered from the sex manual came to mind and pleasing him was her priority. After coaxing a couple of buttons through their holes, she brought her mouth to his skin, brushing kisses over his collarbone, before moving lower to flick her tongue over his nipple.

  “Holy Fu...el Pump, Bryn!” He jumped, torn between pushing her away and pulling her so close she’d never escape.

  “Sorry.” Bryn felt him grow tense. “Did I do something wrong?”

  Hearing the hurt in her voice, Denver didn’t know what to do. “No, no, of course not. We should slow down, that’s all.”

  “I understand.” She didn’t really. When they first met, she’d been sure Denver was only being nice to her because he was a good man, a good neighbor. Being anything other than a friend with a man was something she’d never considered. But somewhere along the way…things had changed. He’d treated her like a woman and she’d begun to consider their relationship to be more than friendship. “Sorry,” she repeated. A wave of remorse swamped her. It was that book! “I’ll drive you home.”

  Denver was dealing with his own problem. Bryn was scrambling to get off his lap and in her haste, she’d gone all knees and elbows on him, bumping his swollen cock in the process. He shut his eyes, letting the pain ebb while she got behind the wheel and started off a little too fast. “Turn on your lights, it’s getting dark.”

  She fumbled around until she found the switch.

  “The driver’s handbook is in the glove box. If you’ll take the exam, I’ll go sign the instructor’s form, so you can get your license. I don’t think you’ll have any problems passing, just read the book and take the study test.”

  “All right.”

  Her answer was terse. “I apologize, Bryn. I’m just trying to be a gentleman. I didn’t want you to think I expected anything from you for the car.”

  Bryn swallowed, trying to contain her emotions. “I thought we’d been over this and hope I didn’t give you that impression.” His explanation made sense, but it still felt like a rejection. “As much as I appreciate the gifts, I’d rather you keep them if it makes you have doubts about me.”

  “Dammit, that’s not what I meant.” He looked out the window, trying to find the right words. “I don’t know everything about your situation, but I know you spent a lot of time in a protected atmosphere. You’re aren’t used to men or…sex. I would never want to take advantage of you. I’d rather walk away from you now than risk hurting you later.”

  “No!” The very idea threw her for a loop. “We can go back to the way things were, if you’d like.”

  Her suggestion wasn’t what he wanted. “You’re putting words in my mouth, baby doll.” He picked up his hat from where it had fallen on the floor at her feet. “Let’s just get back on
even footing and see where we are. Let nature take its course.”

  Letting nature take its course was basically the theme of the book she’d been reading. A blush bloomed on her cheeks. “Okay, I’ll think about it long and hard.”

  Denver groaned. Long and hard described him to a tee. He rubbed one finger over her velvety cheek. “Don’t doubt that I want you, don’t you doubt it for a minute. I’m just trying to be thoughtful, looking out for you the best I can.”

  “I’m lucky to have you, Denver,” Bryn said, meaning every word.

  She drove him home, gave him a kiss goodnight, then made the short trip to her house to do some soul searching of her own.

  * * *

  At work the next day, Bryn was on her second cup of coffee when the bell on the front door announced a customer had arrived. “Be right with you!” She hadn’t slept the best in the world, her mind was full of Denver and their discussion the night before. As promised, she was giving a lot of thought to what he’d said, wondering if she was rushing things. Her life had taken a complete one-eighty, maybe she did need to pace herself and not plunge headfirst into a physical relationship.

  “Here I am!” Bryn called as she emerged from the back of the florist shop, her arms full of baby’s breath. “May I help you?” she asked before the customer came into view. When she saw the man, and realized who it was, her demeanor became less welcoming. “Oh, it’s you.”

  “Do you know me?”

  “You’re Lance Rogers.” They’d never been introduced, but Bryn recognized him from around town. Her attitude, of course, was colored by Tricia’s unhappiness.

  “You seem to have me at a disadvantage, Miss. You recognize me, but I don’t know you.”

  Clearing her throat, she stood her ground. “I’m Bryn Harmon. I work for Tricia and Avery. Neither one of them are here right now. Do you need a nice bouquet of prickly pear or poison ivy, perhaps?”

  He ran his finger over the brim of his cowboy hat, giving her a knowing smile. “You’re the girl who has Denver Bolden chasing his tail.”

  Hearing his blunt assessment, she frowned. “I don’t like that, Mr. Rogers. I know you’re Denver’s boss, he speaks highly of you.” She left the rest of her thought unsaid, but she knew he could fill in the blanks. Her opinion of him wasn’t quite as high, considering how he’d treated her friend.

  “I’m his supervisor, we both work for the McCoys. Apparently, he’s the only one speaking highly of me at the moment.”

  Shrugging, Bryn went about her task of putting together a bridal bouquet. “Oh, Tricia doesn’t have a bad word to say about you. She’d just rather not see you or talk to you.”

  “Okay.” He folded his arms over his chest and looked around inquisitively. “So, is she upstairs?”

  Bryn shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. I’m minding the store, not minding her business.”

  Lance frowned. “Isn’t the store her business?”

  “Don’t mess with me, Lance Rogers.” Bryn waved a lily in his face. “You can’t go around making women cry and breaking their hearts, especially not when they’re pregnant with your child. There’s a special place in Hades for a man like you.”

  “Hades?”

  “That’s right, I don’t cuss. I used to be a nun, I’ll have you know. I took vows to God.”

  Lance’s eyes widened, and Bryn realized she’d said too much. She’d never intended to just blurt the truth out like that to anyone else but Tricia.

  “Why did you leave the church?”

  Bryn looked uncomfortable. “I don’t talk about that with strangers.”

  “I see, that’s probably for the best.” He gazed around one more time, as if he hoped Tricia would step out from behind a potted plant or something. “Well, I’ll just leave and let you…arrange. You tell Tricia I came by and that I need to talk to her as soon as possible. Will you do that?”

  “I will relay your message.” Bryn nodded primly. “I hope you have a blessed day, Mr. Rogers. Try to stay out of trouble.”

  He said nothing more and Bryn felt a little guilty over how she’d treated him. She hoped he didn’t go back to the ranch and complain to Denver. Hurting his career or his relationship with his boss was the last thing she wanted.

  “Excuse me.”

  The unexpected voice made Bryn jump. She whirled to her left to see a small, elderly woman looking at her in awe. “Oh, I didn’t see you.” She placed a steadying to her heart. “Mrs. Weeks, right?”

  “Yes, I came in just behind Mr. Rogers, I was looking for a greeting card for my granddaughter, it’s her birthday.” She moved slowly to the counter. “Did you say you were a nun?”

  “No, ma’am, I said I used to be a nun. I left the Order.” The words came easily to her lips. The memories were harder to deal with.

  I’m sorry, Sister Brianna, due to the evidence of your heresy, you must leave the Order. Leave the grounds. Immediately. The vows you’ve taken are no longer recognized. The bishop will be reviewing your case to see if you will be excommunicated from the church. Leave your forwarding address and someone will reach out to you once a decision has been made.

  “Did you lose your faith?”

  Bryn was struck by the weight of the simple question. “No, I still have my faith.” Her faith in God was strong. Her faith in people less so. “Did you find a card?”

  “Yes.” Mrs. Weeks slowly lifted the card to the counter. “I think this one will do nicely.”

  Bryn withheld her gasp, not wanting to betray her shock at the state of the woman’s hand. Her fingers were horribly bent by crippling arthritis. “All right, let me ring this up for you.”

  “Would you pray with me, Sister? I’m in so much pain.”

  “But…I’m not a nun any longer. I gave it up.” Not true, it was taken from her. Bryn didn’t like to lie, but sometimes the truth was too painful to enunciate.

  “But you still pray, don’t you?” Her pitiful request broke Bryn’s heart.

  “Yes, of course, I still pray.” Hopefully, she could. “I haven’t tried in a while.” Not since the day she’d been escorted from the grounds at Emmaus House.

  “I’m sure you can, it takes a special person to be a nun.” She lifted her ravaged hands to Bryn.

  Bryn didn’t feel special, she felt less than ordinary. Taking Mrs. Weeks hands in hers, Bryn began to pray. “Bless this woman, O Father. Bless her faith. Heal her body. Surround her with your unfailing love.” As she prayed, repeating the familiar words, Bryn felt the faith she thought she’d lost rise and spill over, flowing from her body into the frail woman who was clinging to her. A warm stream of power bridged the gap between them, binding the believers to the One from whom all blessings flowed. “Amen.”

  With the final word of benediction, Bryn let the old woman’s hands go, stepping back so fast she stumbled over a stool and sent it flying. She had no doubt the woman’s arthritis would be cured in a day or so.

  “I’m sorry,” Mrs. Weeks apologized.

  “Oh, no. I did it.” She grabbed a bag and thrust the card in it. “Please, take this. Let it be my gift to you. I’ll see that it’s paid for. I hope your granddaughter hasd a wonderful birthday and that you feel better soon.”

  Bryn’s obvious upset caused Mrs. Weeks to hurry out. “I apologize if I overstepped.”

  “No, you’re fine,” Bryn assured her, knowing she wasn’t fine herself. “Oh, heavens. I have got to stop doing that.”

  After paying for the card as promised, Bryn put the closed sign on the door and walked out back for some fresh air. Since coming to Kerrville, she’d pushed memories of her time at Emmaus House as far from her mind as she could get them.

  Now, standing in the alleyway behind the florist shop, Bryn leaned on a post covered with a purple wisteria vine and let the memories come.

  A quiet life, one filled with purpose. No doubts. No worries. No concerns for what the day might bring. Her tomorrows were all mapped out. No highs. No lows. A placid existence of servitude and pra
yer.

  “Sister Brianna, we have heard some disturbing news of you. Things you have done. Whispers of the unexplained. How did Sister Bethany’s kitten survive being run over by the delivery truck? How did we have lights in the sanctuary when the electricity was out all over town? How did the flour in the bin keep replenishing itself at the pancake supper when Sister Ophelia used the last of it three times?”

  “God works in mysterious way, Mother.”

  “Do not blaspheme!”

  Bryn hadn’t known how to respond. She’d gazed at the woman for whom she had all the respect and reverence in the world. To see the fear and disgust on her face killed Bryn inside.

  “Tell me! Do you deny doing these things?”

  “No, Mother.”

  “How do you explain your power?”

  “I can’t, Mother. I’ve always had it.”

  “You must leave! You are tainting our convent!” She’d risen to her feet and held out her hand, pointing at the door. “Get out! I banish you!”

  No, she wasn’t a nun any longer. She didn’t know what she was, honestly. Bryn bent over, thinking she might throw up, but she didn’t. The sick feeling gradually passed. She looked up into the bright blue sky, closed her eyes and listened to the distant traffic. This was the world beyond the convent walls. A beautiful world. She could build a new life for herself if she tried. A smile came to her lips as she brushed a tear from her eye. “I’ve got a good start on it too, a new job, a place to live, and a man who wants me. All I have to do is say the word.”

  She hugged herself tightly, willing herself to be strong. “All I have to do is say the word, he says.”

  With renewed conviction, Bryn returned to the florist, intending to place a phone call to a certain cowboy who didn’t have a clue what the evening would bring.

  * * *

  “Hold him still, Denver! I just need to get one more nail in this shoe.” Canyon Brady held the horse’s hoof between his knees. “What’s your plans for the evening?”

  “I don’t rightly know, I don’t have any, I guess.” Denver glanced at his phone, but there were no messages. He’d hoped to hear from Bryn, but she hadn’t called. What had he expected? He’d put distance between them, telling her to give their relationship some thought. What man in his right mind did something like that to a beautiful girl like Bryn Harmon? Instead of pushing her away, he ought to be pursuing her full throttle. The only thing holding him back was the ever-present truth that he really had nothing to offer her. Bryn deserved so much more than a broken cowboy who wouldn’t do anything but let her down. “What do you have in mind?”