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  Drew finished the last stitch, then reached for the gauze. “I’m building a research lab.”

  “A research lab? What are you researching?”

  Taking a minute to finish wrapping the cut, Drew answered carefully. “Since my deal with Aswad Oil, I find myself with some extra cashflow.” He shrugged. “I need deductions or I’ll be giving Uncle Sam a hefty sum. Medical research has always been an interest of mine and now I can afford to make a contribution.”

  “I see. I think that’s great.”

  Drew was thankful Ky didn’t ask any more questions. “So, Angelina’s coming to visit?”

  Ky hid a smile. “Yea, she’ll be here sometimes tomorrow and will stay over the weekend.”

  There was no response from Drew. He rose and began replacing his medical supplies in their proper place.

  “After the baby shower Saturday, I’m throwing some steaks on the grill. I’m not going to invite you over, because then I’d have to tell Cooper I did and things might get complicated. However, if you were to happen to stop by about seven to borrow a cup of sugar or a hay baler or something, that would be all right.”

  Drew chuckled, turning to his friend. “I hope you never change, Ky, you’re one of the good guys.”

  Ky adjusted his shirt sleeve. “So, are you Drew. So are you.”

  * * *

  “I am so big. I can’t find a comfortable spot.” Cooper tried to decide between sitting on a folding chair or on a chaise lounge. The baby shower was over and only Ty, Aliyah, and Angelina were left to enjoy a cookout with the happy parents-to-be.

  “You aren’t big, you’re just right. Come here, I’ll show you a comfortable place.” Ky tugged Cooper into his lap. “Better?”

  She sighed, resting her head against his shoulder. “Yea, much better. Our friends gave us some beautiful baby things today. Angelina, I especially loved the handmade blanket.”

  “Thank you.” Angelina sipped her diet cola. “I have a problem just sitting still. The knitting helps pass the time while I watch television.”

  “You’re too young and pretty to be wasting your life in front of a boob tube doing handwork,” Cooper countered. “Don’t you think so, Aliyah?”

  “I do. She should be painting the town orange.” Aliyah was sitting next to Ty on a wicker loveseat eating leftover baby shower cake.

  “Red, baby, you paint the town red when you have a good time.” Ty laughed, squeezing Aliyah tight.

  “I have been keeping busy,” Angelina informed them. “I redecorated the whole house in a country chic style. I’m especially proud of the bedroom Rafe stays in when he comes to visit, I painted it a beautiful shade of blue. I even caught up with a cousin I hadn’t seen in decades. We’d lost touch. Her name is Nada. Isn’t that a strange name?”

  “It is,” Cooper agreed. “Nada means nothing, doesn’t it? That’s worse than naming a baby Seven. Ky and I have been kicking around baby names, but we haven’t settled on anything yet.”

  Ty held up his hand. “Ky. Ty. Sy. Fly. Ry! How’s that one? Ry Landon.”

  “No, I’m not naming my baby a name just to rhyme with Ty and Ky.” She giggled. “I tried, I couldn’t think of one.”

  “Speaking of Rafe, Aliyah and I report for our first assignment with Black Raptor next week,” Ty interjected, glad to get the topic off home décor and baby names.

  “Where you headed, or can I ask?” Ky handed his brother his second beer of the evening.

  “Down to the border. The new immigration policies are causing some concerns on both sides. We’re expecting some movement from the drug cartels before ICE cracks down on traffic,” Ty answered, glancing at Aliyah for confirmation. “Aliyah is planning to go undercover.”

  “Undercover?” Cooper asked. “You do realize I’m having this baby in a month or less. I want you two to be around and in one piece.”

  Aliyah gave them a sly smile. “This is a different type of undercover work. I’m not going to allow myself to be captured by slave traders this time. I’m going to be working as a lounge singer in an upscale club in El Paso, just gathering information. Tyler will be the bouncer. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t miss this baby’s birth for anything.”

  “Besides, we have something big to look forward to ourselves.” Ty kissed Aliyah’s cheek. “Are you going to tell them or do you want me to?”

  “No, I can do it.” Aliyah smiled. “Tyler and I are getting married in June and I want you two,” she indicated Angelina and Copper, “to stand up with me.”

  “Oh, congratulations!” Cooper sprang from Ky’s lap to go hug Aliyah. Angelina joined them.

  “This is wonderful! Congratulations! I would love to be your bridesmaid,” Angelina told her, wiping tears from her face.

  As the women celebrated, talking wedding ideas, Ky and Ty ventured closer to the fire. “Look, someone’s driving up,” Ty pointed his empty beer bottle toward the front drive. “Is that who I think it is?”

  “Yep, I told him to stop by.” He looked back at the women. “This should be interesting.”

  …Drew checked his reflection in the lighted mirror on the visor. “You look like the north end of a south bound mule, buddy,” he told himself.

  Exiting the truck, he made his way behind Ky’s ranch house. He could see a fire in the pit and knew they were probably through eating by now. He had no desire to be social, he’d come for one purpose and one purpose only.

  To see Angelina.

  Making his way through Ky’s yard, he stepped over assorted fat and happy cats and dogs. The Landon’s loved their animals and they were the most spoiled set of creatures he’d ever seen. Big tubs of geraniums were everywhere and there was even a copper whirlybird sculpture turning merrily in the evening breeze. The whole place reeked of wedded bliss. Drew fought to ignore the ache in his chest. On the way over, he’d tried to come to terms with his motives. His circumstances hadn’t changed, he still had nothing to offer Angelina for the long term. Coming to a stop, he wondered if he should just turn around and leave.

  “Drew! Over here!” Ky called.

  Too late.

  As he approached, his eyes searched until he found Angelina. The sight of her took his breath away. Dressed in red, his favorite color on her, Drew was just stunned. She’d always been beautiful, but in the firelight, she was ethereal. Letting his eyes rove over her beautiful body, he frowned, she seemed thinner, which worried him. Angelina was perfect just the way she was.

  At the mention of his name, Angelina felt like she’d been struck by lightning. Drew was here! She didn’t know whether to run and hide or sink into the ground. Casting an accusing look at Cooper, she was met with a grin and a shrug. “I didn’t know,” she whispered. Angelina just stuck her tongue out at her. Closing her eyes, she slowly turned, dreading and aching to see him in equal measures.

  Just as she expected, her body immediately reacted to him. He was the only man on the face of the earth that lit up her whole being like a flare. Cooper had been right, something was wrong. He looked haggard and tired. Not that he wasn’t beautiful, he was more handsome than any man had the right to be. She’d found a television show on Netflix to watch when she was lonely called Justified. It hadn’t escaped her attention how much Drew resembled the lead character, U. S. Marshal Raylan Givens. Angelina had devoured every episode. “Drew,” was all she had the strength to say.

  “Evening everyone. Angelina.” He nodded to her. Tipping his hat to Cooper, he shuffled his feet on the gravel. “Sorry to barge in.” He took an envelope from his back pocket. “I set up a college fund at the bank for the baby. I hope that’s all right.”

  Cooper accepted the envelope with mouth agape and opened it. “My God, Drew, this will pay for all four years of college. Are you crazy?”

  “Possibly.” Drew looked at Tyler and Aliyah. “I hope you two are well.”

  “We’re good, Doc, good to see you out and about,” Ty drawled.

  “Been busy.” He looked at Ky. “How’s the arm?”r />
  “Mending. Some quack doctored me up pretty good.” Ky pointed to the cooler. “Want a beer?”

  Drew shook his head. “Nope, trying to cut back.” Glancing at Angelina, he took a deep breath. “I was wondering if we could talk.” He pulled off his hat and gestured to the winding stream that ran behind the house. “Maybe take a walk?”

  “Okay.” She gave her friends a slight smile. “We’ll be right back.”

  Drew offered her his hand. She took it, closing her eyes at how good it felt to touch him again. But once they are on the path, she eased it from his grasp.

  “How have you been?” he asked.

  “Fine. I’m working. Living.” Small talk was the worst, Angelina thought.

  “Dating?” He thought he knew, but he wanted to hear her say it.

  “Of course not.”

  “Why not?”

  “Don’t, Drew, it doesn’t matter. What about you? My friends say you’ve changed, and you are acting differently. What’s happened? Is something wrong?”

  “Nothing you need to worry about.”

  Her heart was fluttering in her chest like a newly caged bird who didn’t understand it’s captivity. She let her gaze rove over the wooded pasture bathed in twilight. “Okay, you don’t want to talk to me, I’m just not sure what we’re doing. Why are you here?”

  “I couldn’t stay away. I heard you were coming and I had to see you again.”

  “You knew where I was, Drew. I haven’t moved from the address where you were sending all those flowers. My phone number didn’t change.” She kicked a rock. “I was just starting to trust you again, you know.”

  “I want to apologize.”

  “For what? I think we’re even. I walked away from you and you returned the favor. Was that fun for you? To wait until I was ready to talk, ready to see you again? Was that payback for me running from you that night, when you couldn’t make love to me?”

  “Couldn’t make love to you? Look, Angelina, there are things you don’t understand.”

  “Well, tell me. I’m here. I’m listening!” She was raising her voice. Guiltily, she glanced back toward Cooper’s house.

  “I want to talk about the night we made love.”

  “Please don’t.” Her cheeks flamed at the mention of what they’d shared. “I think it’s best if we just forget that ever happened.”

  Drew stepped right up to her, so close she could feel the warmth of his breath. “I can’t forget it. I don’t want to forget it. You’ve got to listen to me. I think you misunderstood what happened that night.”

  Angelina couldn’t look at him. “How could I misunderstand? We were making love and you had to stop. You pulled yourself out of me and turned away.”

  Drew pressed his lips together, searching for the best way to explain it all. “Not only was that your first time, it was your first time since the damn drugs.” When he saw Angelina bow her head, he reached out and touched her face, taking her chin in his hand and turning her face so he could look into her eyes. “Look at me, Angelina.” She reluctantly did as he asked. “I could tell you were holding back. I don’t think you even realized you were doing it. I knew you needed more, I wanted you to have it all.”

  “You were the one who wanted to stop.”

  Fuck! “I was about to explode, Angelina. I was so far gone, I just needed a few minutes to regain my control.”

  “Don’t!” She began to walk away, but he pulled her back. “You’re just saying that because you feel guilty. I know what happened, Drew. It was me, I was the problem.” Angelina gestured down her body. “I’m not pretty.”

  “Are you crazy? You’re amazing.”

  “No, I’m not. I have a mirror, I’m not blind. I wasn’t enough in bed for you and now you feel guilty because I’m…”

  The oversize red blouse and baggy jeans she wore hid her perfect body, but those flashing dark eyes and that libidinous overbite captured his heart like a butterfly in a net. The only thing more captivating than her smile were the open and honest expressions flashing across her delectable face. His response to her beauty was the same as always, his heart was hammering and his cock was throbbing. “You’re driving me crazy.” Taking her hand, he jerked it over to the front of his jeans. “Feel. I’m hard for you and I don’t have the excuse of any damn drug for my condition.”

  Angelina was shocked. “Drew!”

  “Come home with me and I’ll spend the rest of the night showing you just how wrong you are. It’s incomprehensible that you believe such idiocy. Every moment we were together, I wanted you.”

  “But you didn’t finish. I don’t think you could.” Tears were in her eyes.

  He raked his hands through his hair and closed his eyes, trying his best to keep from throwing her over his shoulder and just carrying her off. “I’m not the type of man to take my pleasure until you find yours. The woman comes first. Always. I just needed a few seconds, then I would’ve come back and made damn sure you found ecstasy. But what happened? You left!”

  “You’re wrong.” Angelina shook her head. “I enjoyed what we did, you were the one who needed more.”

  “God, if I could go back and do it all over again, I would just have told you what I was doing. I would’ve pulled out and gone down on you, anything to make you relax. You fought your release, Angelina. I can understand why, considering the hell you went through, but I wanted to give you fireworks. Give me another chance, let me show you how to fly.”

  Angelina shook her head. “I don’t think I can go through that again. I’ve moved on, Drew, or tried to.”

  “I hear you’re working in a daycare. A woman with your talent and intelligence. You should be saving the world.”

  “I’ve built a life for myself.”

  “You aren’t living, you’re existing. You’re punishing yourself more than the terrorists did. Don’t you want to be happy?”

  “Yes, I want to be happy.”

  “You were afraid when you ran from me. Are you still afraid?”

  “I’m here, aren’t I?”

  “Okay, you’re here. Can you deny there was something between us?”

  “I wanted there to be, but you were only acting out of…responsibility.”

  “Bullshit. I treat people, but I don’t bring them into my house and…” Fall in love with them. “Tell me something. Are the drugs out of your system?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe. Mostly.” She was angry. “I’m doing the best I can.”

  “No, you’re not and neither am I. Let’s help one another.”

  “By trying to have sex again, Drew?” She backed up a step. “Wasn’t one monumental failure enough?” She held her hands over her eyes, hating for him to see the tears gathering there. “I can see this was a mistake. Facing you is hard enough, facing the truth is harder. I’ll never have more than I have now. I’m broken. You know what’s really sad? Looking back on that night, I loved what we did. I was scared, yes. The drugs were still making me crazy, but I wanted to be with you so much, I didn’t care if I had an orgasm or not. I was happy with how you made me feel. I guess I’m a bigger failure than I thought.”

  She pulled away from him and ran back the way they’d come.

  “Angelina! Stop! Please!”

  Angelina heard him, but she didn’t stop, she couldn’t.

  Drew watched her go. He wanted to follow her so much he ached with it, but he didn’t want to make a scene at their friend’s home. “This isn’t over, Spanish Eyes,” he whispered. “Someday, I’ll show you the sweet consequences of running from your man.”

  The thought slammed him in his gut.

  What was he thinking? “I’ve got no damn business claiming anybody.” There was no guarantee he even had a future.

  But what did that mean? Was he doomed to be alone? Angelina was alone. They were in the same hellish boat. If she’d just give him the chance, he could heal her. After all, that was what he did. He might not be able to lay claim to her for always, but he could mend tha
t fragile part of her – if only she’d give him the chance.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Angelina ran the long way around the house so Cooper and the others wouldn’t see her. Racing inside, she hurried into the guest room and slammed the door, flopping onto the bed. She laid there for what felt like an eternity, weeping for what might’ve been. Seeing Drew again had been heart-wrenching. Being near him brought back those old familiar sensations of overwhelming need. Was it the damn drug, Extase, rearing its ugly head again? No, she refused to believe it. She couldn’t blame her feelings on anything other than how she ached for him with every fiber of her being.

  Rolling onto her side, she gazed out the window at the full moon hanging high above the pines. What if he was right? What if she was cheating herself out of happiness? What if he truly wanted to be with her?

  Tentatively, she slid her hand between her legs. Could she do it? She rubbed two fingers across her mound and down toward her clitoris. Could she feel something more than that mild little tingle that she thought was a climax? Remembering the horrendous wave of anguish she used to feel, Angelina jerked her hand back like she’d been burned. “No, it’s best to leave things the way they are.” Drew would forget her and someday she would forget Drew.

  Maybe.

  But…what if?

  A knock on the door and Cooper’s voice, caused Angelina to sit up and clutch the pillow to her chest. “Come in.”

  When Cooper saw Angelina’s face, she placed her hands on her hips. “Do I need to get my frying pan and go after Drew Haley?”

  …At Palo Gaucho, Drew shucked his clothes and dropped into bed. “What a night.”

  He thought about seeing Angelina again. He remembered the pain in her eyes. God, he’d hurt her so badly. Twice. She’d never forgive him. “Is this what it’s going to be like?” he asked the still air of the night. “Alone for eternity?” Rising, he went to the window. Resting his arms on the ledge, he looked up at the pregnant moon.

  Sometimes it seemed as if the specter of GSS hung over his head like a guillotine. If he was very still, he could almost feel the presence of a laughing reaper with the rope in his hands just waiting to drop the blade and end his life. Drew had been so full of hope before receiving that call from Susan. As much as Angelina’s leaving had hurt him, he’d been elated over the headway he’d made with her, enjoying the pursuit and the excitement of winning her back. He’d planned the best make-up sex in the world once he had her back in his arms. If things were different, he would’ve spent every day of the rest of his life making all this up to her.