Ryder's Surrender (Hell Yeah!) Read online

  “I’m just thankful he’s still alive,” Olivia sobbed, taking Philip’s hands as he came to sit on the other side of their father’s companion.

  “I brought you some coffee, Princess,” Gideon whispered as he came to squat at her feet.

  “Thank you.” She accepted the cup gratefully, her attention splintered by all that was going on. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

  “Where else would we be?” His eyes sought hers, seeking to convey all he was feeling. “We belong with you; you belong to us.”

  She gave him a sweet smile, conscious of many pairs of eyes watching what they were doing.

  Heath came out and Tennessee took his place. Ryder was barely aware of the fact that Samson and Gideon stepped off to one side to talk business with Heath, trusting them not to reveal anything about their relationship until she was ready. After a while, she rose and paced for a bit, the movement making her feel better. She was aware that at least one of the Dukes kept her in their view, and she also saw that Racy had Philip cornered in one section of the hallway. This would have given her pause if she weren’t so worried about her father.

  “Ryder, baby, you wanna go in and see Daddy, now?” Jaxson called to her from a few feet down the hall.

  “Yes!” she almost yelled the word, hurrying to meet her brother.

  “He’s asking for you.” Jaxson took a moment to give her a hug. “He’s not strong, but he’s alive. We’ll just have to hold onto that.”

  Almost afraid to breathe, Ryder pushed open the door and entered the semi-darkened room. The blips and beeps of machines sounded alien to her ears. “Daddy?”

  When she rounded the door and saw him, Ryder almost collapsed. He looked so drawn, so pale. She could barely remember the big, robust man who used to carry her on his shoulders. When he’d lost his Carolyn in the horrible way she died, Christian McCoy had almost given up. “Oh, Daddy, I’m so sorry.” She went to him, took his hand, and laid her head on the same bed to cry.

  “Hey, none of that, sweetie.”

  His voice wasn’t strong, but it was so dear, Ryder cried harder. “You scared me so bad. I can’t lose you, Daddy, I just can’t.”

  “You’re not,” Christian whispered. “I don’t think this was anything but stress. A man with a big family like I have, there’s always going to be something to worry about.” He tried to laugh. “Heath is a rock, but he’s so volatile and Tennessee almost lost out on being with his wife and baby.” He reached up to wipe his eyes and Ryder jumped up to hand him a tissue. “I’d take Jaxson’s pain away from him, if I could. He’s still suffering. And Philip, just the thought of how close he came to going to prison, gives me nightmares to this day.”

  “Everything is okay now, Daddy. Our family is back on track.” Ryder tried to comfort her father, kissing his hand.

  “I’m old, I’m not blind and I am aware of things, little girl. Your sister is going through a rough time. She doesn’t think I know, but I do. I can read our Pepper like a book.”

  Ryder tensed, wondering if he could sense her own turmoil.

  “You’re the only one I can depend on not to break my poor old heart, Ryder. You’re my good girl. I never have to worry about you doing something crazy.” He coughed and she handed him some water, not sure what to say in return. “I don’t think I could survive another shock. Our family has had too many of them in the past year.”

  “You won’t, Daddy. Everything will be smooth sailing from now on.” Her father would never know his words shattered her dreams. How could she pursue a future with the Dukes? When, not if, her father found out her secret, the shock could be the one thing that would hurt him the most.

  “Will you get your little sister for me? I need to make sure she’s okay. I know she was at that damn concert.”

  Ryder didn’t ask how he knew, she was just glad he didn’t have a clue what she’d been doing the same night. “Okay, Daddy.”

  On the way out, she momentarily rested her head against the cool wood of the doorframe. What was she going to do? How could she tell Samson and Gideon? As she walked the dozen or so yards from ICU to the waiting room, Ryder tried to come up with a plan. Was there any way they could all be happy? If there was, she couldn’t see it clearly right now.

  Watching her feet as she walked, deep in thought, Ryder almost walked directly into Samson’s arms. “How is he? How are you?”

  She wanted to rest against him, she wanted to ask them both to take her away – far away. Somewhere where they could escape reality and just live off their dreams. “He’s awake, he’s very fragile and I’m…sad,” she whispered, surrendering to his embrace for just one precious moment.

  “Samson!” The urgency in Gideon’s voice caused both Ryder and Samson to turn.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked, hating the worried look on his face.

  “There’s a fire at the plant. We’ve got to go.” He came to Ryder, enveloping her in a hug. “You take care and we’ll check with you in the morning. Try to get some sleep, precious.”

  “What happened? What plant?” She didn’t want to keep them, but she needed to know what they were facing.

  While Gideon called for their car, Samson took a moment to explain. “The plant is in south Houston, where we build our rockets. We don’t know what to make of it yet.”

  “Could it be terrorists?” Ryder asked, her eyes wide with concern.

  “We don’t know, but don’t worry. We have a strict policy. We never negotiate with terrorists – no matter what. We won’t be held captive by the dictates of others.”

  “I don’t know about any of that,” Ryder whispered. “I just don’t want anything to happen to you.”

  “I’ll call you and let you know something, if you’d like.”

  “Please do. I’ll worry.” She threw her arms around his neck. “Please take care of yourself and take care of Gideon.” Kissing his cheek, she confessed. “I enjoyed myself so much with the two of you. I am the luckiest woman in the world.”

  Samson looked deep into her eyes. “You take care of you and your family.” He touched the necklace with the symbolic three stones. “And don’t forget that you belong to us too.”

  * * *

  A few days later…

  “We’ve got to get a handle on this. People just thought the space race ended in 1969, there’s a whole new competition now. Nasa, Putin and Roscosmos, China - I fear these folks will do whatever it takes to make sure we don’t launch that rocket to Mars.”

  Samson stood with Gideon, looking out over the pool, watching their gardener as he scooped leaves out of the crystal-clear, blue water. “I don’t have a good feeling about this, Gideon.”

  “Me either. How much time do you think we lost with this fire?”

  “None, if I have any say in the matter.” Samson turned to reenter the house. “One of us needs to break away and go to the Ukraine. I’d bet my last dollar we could find out some information from those scientists who used to make the rockets for Leonid Oleg. If he’s not behind this, I’ll eat my Stetson. He and his cohorts, whoever they are, will do anything to keep us from making this deadline. It’s not only a matter of pride with our competitors it’s also a fortune’s worth of contracts. Whoever lands a spaceship on Mars first will rule the space travel industry. And we’ve got the ultimate advantage – no one else can get there as fast as we can. Our calculations, rockets, fuel, cargo capsule – they’re all unique. We can cut the travel time from nine months to three. The rest of the world would kill for that information.”

  “I know, and I’m mighty afraid that’s what all of this is about. Yes, one of us needs to go to the Ukraine. It’s just not a good time, is it?” Gideon knew exactly what Samson would say, he could feel his desperate anticipation as well as he could his own.

  “No, not until we know where we stand with Ryder.” Samson checked his phone for the thirtieth time today. “She was supposed to call an hour ago.”

  While they’d been gone, the brothers had been in
constant contact with Ryder. Her father was out of the hospital and back in his apartment in Austin. They’d personally sent him a fruit basket big enough to serve as the produce section of a small grocery store. She called them a few times, but she seemed afraid she was being a bother. Both Samson and Gideon assured her, in no uncertain terms, that any communication from her would always be more than welcome. And while they hadn’t pushed her to give them the decision they were so anxious to hear, nothing was more paramount in their minds and hearts than learning whether Ryder had made up her mind to begin an open and honest relationship with them.

  “She’ll call, but until she does, I think I’ll ride out and check on that cow we were expecting to calve soon.” Gideon pressed his hat tighter to his head. “Give me a call if she shows up or if you hear from her and I’ll come right back.”

  “Will do.” As Gideon headed to the barn, Samson went to the front room to wait by the window…just in case.

  Down the road…

  Ryder felt like her heart was being torn in two. “I can’t choose. Don’t make me choose.” The tormented whisper echoed in the empty room, and even as she said the words, she knew the choice had already been made.

  She wasn’t considering a choice between Samson and Gideon. Her feelings for both men were so far beyond anything she’d ever felt or imagined feeling for a man, denying them was impossible. No, she talking about choosing between what she wanted more than air…and her family. There was no question, a decision like she was tempted beyond measure to make, would crumble the very foundation of the McCoy clan. Her brothers would never understand and the impact on her father could be deadly.

  Sadly, Ryder walked to her car, realizing her happiness came with a price tag higher than she was willing to pay. She’d wrestled with this decision for days. Nothing in the world that she’d ever done, would be harder than what awaited her in the next few minutes. Opening the door of her white Lexus, she slid behind the wheel and just sat there for a few moments, wondering if she’d gathered enough strength to see her through the coming ordeal.

  With a heavy heart, she started the engine and started off to Falconhead. The last week had been a nightmare. Their father had developed angina, which could easily lead to a heart attack if he didn’t take care of himself. And one of those ways to ensure that he maintained his health was making sure the amount of stress he had to endure was at a minimum. How could she knowingly add to his worries? Before, she’d joked about her association with the Dukes killing her father and now she was faced with that possibility – if she chose to pursue the relationship. Ryder had worried the situation to death. Could she continue seeing them and just hide it? Ryder couldn’t deny she considered the possibility very seriously. But that wouldn’t be fair to Samson and Gideon and she’d always been terrible at keeping secrets anyway.

  Pepper, Cato, and Molly agonized with her, knowing she was almost at her wits end over the whole thing. To her sorrow, she hadn’t seen any way she could accept their advice – which was to throw caution to the wind and choose the path her heart desired. What they didn’t understand – was that her heart was torn. How could she do something that might harm her father? How could she tear up their family by introducing something they couldn’t begin to understand?

  Since the drive was short, Ryder didn’t have time to further debate her decision. When she turned into Falconhead’s drive, the guard immediately granted her entrance. She didn’t need to be told she had a standing, open invitation. The brothers had been more than clear that she was to consider this home to be her home. With a heavy heart, Ryder pulled up to the door and greeted the man who came to help her from her car. She hadn’t taken two steps before the door opened. Expecting to see Thurgood, Ryder raised her head to greet him, only to be swept into a pair of strong arms.

  “You’re here!”

  “Sam…” The rest of the word was swallowed up in his kiss. She couldn’t do anything but respond – he left her no choice with his consuming, passionate, possessive welcome. Ryder could feel his heart beating hard against her chest. When his mouth slid from hers, he continued kissing her face, her neck, holding her up off the ground, cradled against him. “Thank God, you’re here. I’ve missed you like crazy. Can you spend the night?”

  “Samson…”

  One word.

  One word, just his name.

  One word and he understood she was about to break his heart. “Ryder?”

  “Oh, Samson,” she began to cry, “I can’t. I just can’t. Daddy’s problem hinges upon leading a relatively stress free life. He said I was his good girl, the one he didn’t have to worry about, the one who didn’t cause him any problems. How could I tell him? How could I break the news that I’m involved with two men? This just doesn’t happen in our world, Samson. I don’t know how to be what you want me to be without letting everybody in my life down.”

  Samson went to his knees. “You’re walking away from us?”

  Coming around the side of the house on his horse, Gideon heard their voices. Every word he heard tore a hole in his soul.

  “If things were different, I could love you, Samson. I just can’t love you both.”

  When Gideon heard that, he froze, flames of torment cascading over him. With a harsh gasp, he turned his mount around and urged the stallion to run – he needed to get away, as hard and as fast as he could.

  Ryder continued, wishing she could wipe the agony from Samson’s face. “I could have loved just you,” she repeated. “I could love Gideon too. So easily. Both of you speak to my heart in a way I didn’t know any man ever could. But I just can’t allow myself to trust this. It goes against everything I believe in, everything my family believes in. Being with you both is a fantasy, but this fantasy can’t exist in real life. Maybe we could hide our love affair or love triangle for a while, but eventually someone would find out. And then what?”

  “Stop.” Samson couldn’t bear to hear more.

  Ryder couldn’t stop, not until she said everything she had to say. “Believe me, I’ve searched my heart and my soul, I want to be with you more than anything, but I don’t know how to break all the rules.”

  “I…I don’t know what to say.” Samson stood to his feet, spread his hands and looked off into the distance. “There has to be something, someway…”

  Ryder couldn’t stand the pain she saw in his face. “I don’t have the answer, Samson. I wish I did.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out the necklace. “Please tell Gideon goodbye for me.” With her eyes full of tears, she turned and fled to her car.

  Filled with desolation, Samson watched as Ryder drove from sight.

  …Riding alongside the shore of the lake, Gideon’s pain was only matched by his brother’s. He could feel Samson’s hopeless, helpless despair. Ryder had turned them down – because of him. If Gideon were out of the way, his brother and Ryder could be happy.

  * * *

  Gideon stayed away until he was certain he’d built an impenetrable wall, a curtain to hide his deepest feelings behind. As much as he was hurting, he intended for the two people he loved most in the world to have a chance at forever. And he…he would put on a brave face and lick his wounds in private.

  When he could face Samson and pretend he’d heard nothing of his and Ryder’s conversation, Gideon returned home. The barrier he erected had cut off the ‘knowing’ he’d always relied on, the constant awareness of where his brother was, what he was doing, and how he was feeling. So essentially, he was walking into the situation blind. This blindness prevented him from being prepared for what he found.

  Crash! Crack! Crash!

  Thurgood stood by helplessly with Samson, watching streams of red wine flow down the white kitchen wall like rivulets of blood. His brother had hurled the bottle like a ballistic missile, crashing with enough force to dent the stucco finish. Gideon felt his guts twist into a knot. For his usually placid brother to react like this, he had to be in immense agony. Gideon understood. He felt the same way.<
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  But if Gideon was successful, Samson would never know it.

  “What’s wrong? Why are you playing target practice with a perfectly good bottle of Riesling?”

  Samson turned, his face stricken. “Ryder said no. She turned us down.”

  Gideon knew what he said wasn’t exactly true. Samson was rejected because Ryder couldn’t accept the package deal that included him – Gideon. “Really? I’m so sorry.” He went to his brother and put a hand on his shoulder. “I know you’re disappointed.”

  Samson’s expression when he looked at Gideon was full of questions and pain. “Disappointed? I’m not disappointed, I’m hurt. The woman I care most about in the world just walked out of my life!”

  Gideon, putting on a performance worthy of an Oscar, walked away from his brother to look out the window. “I hate this has happened. I expected it. I do know you’re hurting, but I think this was for the best.”

  “How can you say that?” Samson roared, his voice awash in desolation.

  “What was her excuse?” He put just enough judgment in his voice to bring out Samson’s protective instincts. Oh, yea, he was playing his sibling like a well-tuned guitar.

  “This wasn’t an excuse; she really feels trapped. What her heart desires and what she can live with are two different things.”

  Gideon looked down, shuttering his eyes as well as his mind. “I hate to say this, but I’m relieved. I’ve always enjoyed sharing with you, but I’m not ready to tie myself down to one woman. I went along with all of this because of you.” He shrugged both shoulders up in the air. “Oh, Ryder is sweet. I’ll give you that. I’d love to fuck her, but I’m not ready to just settle for one tight little pussy. Sharing a woman for a night is pleasurable, sharing one for a lifetime is nuts. I don’t want a half a woman….”

  Samson jerked Gideon around and hit him so hard, he knocked him into next week. “Shut your fuckin’ mouth. You’re talking about the woman I love!”

  Gideon didn’t fight back, instead he grabbed Samson’s shoulders and looked him in the eye. “Go to her. Make yourself happy, this is your chance. We’re not bound by traditions and rules. This is about you and Ryder, I’m out of the picture.”