I Swear Page 13

  Chapter Seven

  Delaney came down the stairs slowly. She knew Jonah was waiting for her. What she didn’t know was what would happen next. There was so much that needed to be said. She wanted to clear the air between them so their time together would be more pleasant – less awkward. Living with someone while harboring hurt feelings made for an uncomfortable situation.

  Stepping around the corner, she found him reading. When he became aware of her prescence, he raised his head. Their eyes crashed together. She could see he felt the same sense of urgency that she did. “How were the oaties?”

  His face broke out into a big smile. “Ambrosia. I haven’t eaten them in years and they’re even better than I remembered.”

  “Good.” She glanced at the kitchen. “You finished everything.”

  “I did.” He patted the couch. “Come sit down. Let’s have a nightcap together. I made hot cocoa.”

  “All right.” She moved to join him, noting the steaming cups of hot chocolate waiting on the table next to the fireplace. “This is lovely.”

  “I’m glad. It’s just a packaged variety, but it’s tasty.”

  She sat across from him, took the cup, then raised it to her mouth for a sip. “Oh, this is good.”

  “I think so.”

  After another sip, she took a breath. “I want to apologize. What you do is your business. I had no right to act the way I did.”

  Jonah was shaking his head as she spoke. “No, you had the right. We were on the verge of something amazing. I should’ve made sure Tressie left as soon as she got here.”

  “I should’ve been willing to listen to you. I didn’t even give you a chance to explain.”

  He leaned forward, holding her gaze. “Let me tell you now. The whole sordid story.”

  “All right. If you want.”

  I’m sure you’ve gathered that Dad and I had a falling out. Mostly, it centered around his second marriage.” As he said those words, he stopped and glanced around. Giving a slight chuckle, he looked to Delaney and raised one expressive eyebrow. “I was half expecting something to happen.”

  “Me too,” Delaney admitted.

  “Does it make you nervous?” His real question was…does it make you want to leave?

  “No. Not really. Like I said earlier, I’ve seen some weird things in my life. I’ve never felt threatened by them and whatever this is doesn’t seem overtly threatening either.” She looked around furtively. “I think someone just wants attention.” Again, she waited – but nothing happened. “Anyway, I’m certainly not bored.”

  “Well, that’s good.” He put his book to one side.

  “What were you reading?”

  “Oh, a history of Britain during the Roman occupation, especially the reign of Emperor Claudius around 43 AD.”

  His declaration so surprised Delaney that her mouth dropped open. “Wow. I’m impressed.”

  “Don’t be. My mother just instilled in me a love of reading, especially history.”

  She narrowed her eyes at him. “I knew when you tried to pretend you weren’t smart that you were faking it.”

  He placed the book back down. “Well, I probably had potential but I didn’t do anything with it. If my mother would’ve lived, I’m sure she would’ve seen to it that I went to college. After she passed, my Dad and I butted heads something awful – about everything. Looking back, I think we were grieving. And when he remarried, I ran away.”

  “Ran away? But you said you were sixteen.”

  “I was, but I was big for my age. I lived on the streets of Austin for awhile, panhandling. Finally, I was able to get a job with a small time mechanic in a little town called Elgin, east of Austin.”

  “Were you still living on the street?” This worried Delaney, she could just imagine a young Jonah having to fend for himself.

  “No. The mechanic, a man named Olin Nols, and his wife took me in. I lived in a room in their barn. When I was seventeen, I lied about my age and joined the army.”

  “Wow. I’m so sorry.”

  He spread his arms out from his sides. “Hey, I survived.”

  “How long were you in the service?”

  “Eleven years.” He laughed wryly. “Some people romanticize serving in the military. I’m not one of them. Joining up was the worst mistake I ever made.”

  “You were so young, I’m sure it was hard.”

  “Oh, the first few years were fine. Frankly, I didn’t see any use in the war. We were supposed to be over there helping people and most of them didn’t want us there. Our job was to train the Afghan army. Our main problem was infilitrators, the enemy joining the ranks for the sole purpose to dirupt, spy, and kill.”

  “That’s terrible.”

  “Yea, but it happens. Regularly. Still, I reupped several times, it was all I knew. Until…” They sat for a moment in silence until Jonah stood up and rubbed his face. “There’s so much I want to say, but let me reiiterate how sorry I am about Tressie. She means nothing to me.”

  “You don’t have to say anything more about her.”

  “Yea, I do.” He turned around in a circle, then sat back down again. “Well, not so much about her – but about Trick.”

  “Trick?”

  “Her old man, Trick Eaves. We served together in Kandahar. We saw things…” Jonah stopped talking to stare at the floor. “Things I don’t like to talk about. Things I’ll never get over. Never forgive myself for. Sometimes when I shut my eyes, I can’t see anything else. And my dreams…they’re nightmares.” Clearing his throat, he looked at Delaney. “When we were talking about getting to know one another before, this was something I intended to skip. You don’t want to hear this.”

  “Yes, I do,” she urged him, sensing he needed to talk. “Don’t worry. I’ll keep your counsel. You can trust me.”

  “I know I can, it’s not that.” He patted his chest. “It just hurts. I’m ashamed. You don’t know how it haunts my dreams. Most nights I wake up in a cold sweat with my heart pounding. I have meds, but they knock me out.”

  “And with your dad, you couldn’t afford to not be alert.”

  “Exactly.”

  “Jonah, I know what kind of a man you are. If you did anything wrong, you must’ve had a good reason.”

  “You’ll never know how I’ve wrestled with that very thing. You see, Trick and I were ordered to kill three innocent people we came across on the road to Kandahar. They weren’t soldiers. They were no threat to us.” He stopped talking and looked down in despair.

  “I’m so sorry,” Delaney whispered, waiting for him to continue.

  He swallowed hard but began to speak. “Our commanding officer was a joke. From the time of his transfer over our unit, I swear the bastard commited a war crime a day. The worst part was that we were the ones he expected to carry out his vile orders. We resisted. Trick and I refused to do his bidding…when we could get away with it. But this time, he literally held a gun to Trick’s head. He said if I didn’t comply, he would shoot Trick dead. I didn’t doubt he would. The man was completely crazy.”

  “What did you do?”

  “I did what he ordered and when I got the chance, I beat the hell out of him.”

  “Your commanding officer?”

  “Yea. Ass.”

  “What happened to him?”

  “He’s in Leavenworth.” Shaking his head, he looked at Delaney. “They put Trick and I on trial too. It’s a wonder…”

  “You’re here, Jonah. With us.”

  “Yea, I’m here. We escaped prosecution, but what I can’t escape is the guilt.” He gazed at Delaney with anguish. “I killed those people, Delaney. I murdered them.”

  “No, it was an act of war. Not your fault.”

  He bowed his head. “Anyway, Trick and I bonded. Big time. Since I was still on the outs with my dad, I joined Trick’s motorcycle club when we came home.” Shaking his head, he rubbed the back of his neck. “Honestly, I di
dn’t really fit in, but I didn’t feel like I could come home.”

  This hurt Delaney’s heart for him. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Thanks, but I’m not after sympathy.” He chuckled softly. “I’m trying to work around to the point where I can explain my actions to you.”

  Delaney didn’t interrupt him, giving him time to tell her his story the way he wanted to.

  “On the compound, my job was to keep everyone’s bike in shipshape. I enjoyed doing that. I also liked hanging with Trick and his friends. They were good people. The fly in the ointment was Tressie. To use biker lingo, she was Trick’s old lady.”

  “Did you have an old lady?” Delaney couldn’t help but ask.

  “No. I wasn’t a saint, but my life hasn’t been conducive to a relationship.” He stopped short of telling her it still wasn’t. “Tressie had the wool pulled over Trick’s eyes. When he wasn’t around, she came on to everything that had a…” He stopped before he said anything coarse. “Any man would do. Even me. Really, I think she took special pleasure flirting with me because I was Trick’s best friend.”

  “How awful. I’ve known women like her in the past. I think it’s a sport with them.”

  “Yea. Maybe. Anyway, she set her eyes on me and made it her mission to seduce me.”

  Delaney became surprised and a bit alarmed at how his statement made her feel. “Go on.”

  Clearing his throat, Jonah stared at the floor. “I wish I could say I was unaffected, but the truth was – I was flattered. Tressie was a beautiful woman and very persusaive.”

  “I see.”

  “No, you don’t see.” He moved to squat in front of her. “I might’ve been tempted, but I didn’t give in. Ever. I have more honor than that. To be honest, after the initial…thrill of her attention, her attitude and dishonesty turned me off.”

  “I can imagine.”

  “Yea, that’s how you felt about me, didn’t you?” He didn’t wait for her to answer the question. “I understand. Although, I never meant for you to feel that way. Seeing her just shocked me. We did not part on good terms and for her to show up the way she did was the worst kind of surprise.”

  “Why did she show up?” Delaney couldn’t help but ask.

  “I don’t think it was because she missed me.” Jonah scoffed. “Hell, if I know. She was up to no good, I’d bet my bottom dollar on that, for sure.”

  Delaney was beginning to feel awkward. “Okay, you don’t have to say anymore about it.”

  “No, I do. I didn’t want to kiss Tressie. I probably could’ve handled the situation better, but I made a mistake.” He took her hand in his. “What I do know is that I never intended to hurt you. And I’m more sorry than you can ever imagine. Can you forgive me?”

  Delaney didn’t hesitate. “Of course. Actually, I’d already forgiven you.”

  Despite her giving him the answer he wanted to hear, Jonah could see the hesitancy on her face. Knowing he needed to handle her feelings with the greatest of care, he stroked her palm with the pad of his thumb. “Thank you. That makes me very happy.”

  “Jonah…”

  “Hey, I know what you’re going to say. We have to take it slow. Friends first. Right?”

  Her heart and her mind were at odds. Delaney was grateful he’d set the ground rules. She didn’t know if she could’ve been as strong. “Friends is a good place to start.”

  “Good.” He raised the hand he still held to his lips for a gentle kiss. “I want to be the best friend you’ve ever had, but I plan on doing everything in my power to convince you to give me a chance.”

  Before Delaney knew it, the question in her mind was on her lips. “A chance for what?”

  Her enquiry didn’t faze Jonah. “A chance to know you better. A chance to be close to you. Yes, a chance to be with you. If we don’t, I think we’ll be sorry someday. Fate has brought us together, given us this chance, and I don’t think we should waste it.”

  At any other time, with any other man, she might’ve taken offense at his explanation. This could be the ultimate come on. Yet…coming from Jonah, the appeal rang with sincerity. Before she could stop herself, she gave him her answer. “Yes. Okay. I’d like to start over with you. As friends. Once we’ve achieved that milestone, we can see what’s next.”

  If anything.

  She didn’t say those two words out loud, but he heard them as clearly as if she’d done so.

  “I understand.” He kissed her hand again. “And I agree.”

  Delaney let out a long cleansing breath. “Well, I guess it’s getting late. I should go up and check on John.”

  He stood to his feet as she did, his eyes searching her face. What he saw gave him a sense of peace. “Thank you for listening to me. I feel a million percent better. Being at odds with you felt terrible.”

  “It did. I’m glad we’ve worked through this also.”

  Without asking, he took a risk, leaning close to kiss her cheek. When she didn’t pull away from him, he felt triumphant. “Before you go to sleep, check under your pillow. Okay?”

  Surprised, her eyes widened. “Well, all right.” She couldn’t help but smile. “What will I find?”

  “Just wait and see,” he whispered with a hint of mischief in his eyes. “You go on up and I’ll see to checking the locks.”

  “All right.” She gave him one last searching look before turning away to head up the stairs. “Sleep well, Jonah.”

  “You too, beautiful. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  * * *

  Upstairs, Delaney made for her room. As soon as the door was shut, she sank against the wall with her hand on her heart. Here she was again, full circle, swooning over the handsome man who could turn her head without even trying. Tonight, she’d intended on smoothing things out with him. She hadn’t expected him to open up and pour out his heart. What he’d told her rang true and what he’d said about taking a chance on him – well, she was ready to do just that.

  For a few moments she closed her eyes, recalling the look on his face as he’d held her hand. He’d been sincere. Without a doubt, Jonah Callan was the real deal. Taking a deep breath, she trembled with emotion. When she recalled what he said about a surprise, she pushed away from the wall and hurried across the room. After flipping on the bedside lamp, she placing her hand on the pillow. A smile came to her face as she imagined what the big man had looked like as he stole into her room to leave something for her to find.

  Sitting on the edge of the bed, she held her breath as she lifted the pillow. Her eyes widened as she caught sight of a box wrapped in bronze colored paper with a rafia bow. The ribbon was a bit askew and she smiled at the thought he might’ve wrapped it himself. Lifting the box, she pressed it to her chest, relishing how the gift made her feel. No matter what was inside, the idea he’d cared enough to give her something meant the world to Delaney. This was her first gift from a man and she’d cherish it no matter what.

  With trembling fingers, she pulled on one end of the bow. As the rafia unfurled, she chewed on her lower lip. The anticipation was delicious. She tried to picture Jonah picking something out, seeing to its wrapping, then bringing it here to await discovery. The vision she conjured in her mind made her pulse race. Wanting to preserve the pretty paper, she delicately tugged at the tiny pieces of tape. Even the wrapping seemed precious to her.

  Once the small white box was uncovered, she gently lifted the lid. “Oh, my.” Delaney gasped as she picked up a delicate gold necklace with a heart pendant. “How lovely.” She clasped the piece in her hand, marveling at what this thoughtful present might mean. Turning on the bedside lamp, she studied the fine workmanship, her emotions soaring at the thoughtful gesture. Jonah didn’t have funds to spare. The realization that he spent some of his hardearned cash on her brought tears to Delaney’s eyes. “Oh, Jonah.” Raising her arms, she fastened the necklace around her neck, then placed her hand over the heart to press it to her skin. “I love this.”


  Glancing to the box, she picked it up to place on the nightstand. As she moved it, Delaney noticed there was something else nestled in the tissue paper. “A note?” With heightened anticipation, she took it out and unfolded the delicate paper. Jonah’s bold handwriting covered the page. Scooting to the middle of the bed, she sat with legs crossed, the letter in her hand.

  Dearest Delaney

  Dearest Delaney. She had to stop and savor the words for a few seconds before returning to what he’d written.

  I know we talked tonight, or at least that was my aim. Knowing me, I made a mess of things. Hopefully I was able to make my apology. There is so much I want to say to you. You probably don’t realize how shy I am. This is really the first time I’ve attempted to open my heart to a woman.

  I thought it was only fair to warn you that I’m about to seriously pursue you. How does that make you feel? Hopefully it thrills you as much as it thrills me. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know I long to have fun with you. There’s been too little joy in my life and I have a feeling the same is true for you. So…this is my plan.

  I want to share the coming days with you. I want to laugh with you, talk about anything and everything, and I want to be close to you in every way. Yes, that means physically. I pray you feel the same.

  To begin our play, let’s start with sharing.

  First, I will tell you three secrets about myself. Here they are:

  I love to read. This probably surprises you. When you come to my bedroom, I’ll show you my library. (That’s tempting isn’t it?)

  I’m not on social media. At all. Somehow, I bet that doesn’t surprise you.

  I’ll walk out of a movie if they harm an animal. I couldn’t watch Old Yeller as a kid.

  Well, that was pretty boring. Let’s spice things up. Here are three things I’d like to do with you.

  I want to sit on the couch with you and watch television. Close. When Dad is asleep.

  I can’t wait to play a board game with you. Scrabble, maybe? I’m trying to think of a way to make it Strip Scrabble. Any ideas?