A Breath of Heaven (El Camino Real Book 1) Page 13

  “Yea,” he looked a bit pleased. “I want everyone to know you belong to someone. You’re not up for grabs.” But then he grabbed her playfully, just to hear her laugh.

  Abby swallowed hard. She loved him so much it hurt. Every moment they were together was making her more and more dependent on him. When this interlude was over, how would she survive without him? He owned her, body and soul. She belonged to him. He might not ever claim her, but that didn’t change the fact that she would be faithful to him forever. She wanted no one else.

  Cade settled down beside of her, pulling her close. Before she could stop him, he spoke but what he said, wasn’t what she expected. “I wanted you to be the first to know that I’m retiring from the circuit.”

  “Retiring?” Was he coming home? She didn’t dare breathe. What would that mean? Abby didn’t know what to say.

  Cade weighed his words carefully, there was so much more he wanted to tell her – but one thing at a time. “Yea, I’m hanging up my spurs. I‘m looking at a spread on the north side of El Camino, there’s a common boundary. I could add to the ranch holdings, yet have a place to call my own. I need my own place, Abby. I’m ready to start my future.”

  Abby began to shake and Cade tightened his grip on her. She forced herself to speak normally. “How wonderful! I’m so happy for you.”

  He kissed her on the head. “I know, Abby.” Cade wanted to talk about them, about their relationship – about her fears and his hopes and their dreams. “Abby…”

  A burning sensation in her throat made Abby feel as if she were choking. He was coming home, he’d be near all the time. What would that mean? She had always known he would and she wanted him to – but what would that mean for them? They couldn’t continue this relationship, not for the long run. And how could she go back to being just his friend? His sparring partner? How would she be able to see him all the time and not belong to him? So, she just told the truth. “I’m glad you’re coming home. I worried about you while you were gone.” She kissed his shoulder. “We’d better get some sleep. We’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

  Cade sighed, not wanting to drop the subject. “Okay, if you’re tired. But we still have things to talk about.”

  Abby allowed him to hold her.

  Sleep was a long time coming. And this time she didn’t dream.

  Chapter Eight

  “You knew you had to go to the Bachelorette party, Sis. Pam’s gonna be our sister-in-law, whether we like it or not.” Trace was always the peacemaker.

  “I know. I just wasn’t happy about it. It’s been a long day, so I just made an appearance and came home.” Abby flounced wearily on the couch, glancing at the clock. It was nearly nine P.M. and she still wore the short little party dress she’d worn to the club.

  Trace walked to the family Christmas tree picked up an ornament, turning it in his hand. “This doesn’t really seem like Christmas, does it?”

  “No,” Abby sighed, it doesn’t. “Too much other stuff is going on.” Her morning had started early. Once more, she’d awoken before Cade, took a few precious moments to stare at his face before she dressed and slipped out of the room while it was still dark. Sleeping next to him was becoming a habit, one she was going to have to break.

  “How are you and Cade getting on?”

  Abby glanced at her younger brother, wondering if her thoughts were written on her face. She pasted a smile on her lips. “We called a truce. Peace talks are ongoing and a cease fire will exist until after the wedding.” He’d called her cell several times during the day, but she had ignored it, sending him a friendly text instead. At the moment, she didn’t really understand what was happening between them.

  “That’s good to know. I drove by your office this morning, you were working at the crack of dawn.”

  “Why didn’t you stop to help?” Counting off on her fingers, she reiterated what she accomplished. “I was loading up for a house call and when I came back I tended to a sick horse, operated on a little boy’s dog who got hit by a car and mixed up a formula for twin baby goats whose mother couldn’t handle them both. You should have seen them, they were bucking and butting that bottle. I could barely hold it.”

  Trace laughed. “I bet you enjoyed those goats more than you did the hens at Pam’s party.”

  “Abby nodded. “I did, the goats were more entertaining. But all in all, I got a lot done today, I took my clothes over and dressed there so I wouldn’t lose any time and could use the big kitchen.” She didn’t tell her brother she’d done it more to avoid seeing Cade than any spurt of holiday energy. “I worked on Christmas preparations this afternoon. We’re going to have a good meal despite the madness. Chocolate cake, coconut cake, mince pie, pumpkin pie, potato salad, ham, turkey—I went all out.” It was December 23rd and the Kings were used to eating well for the holiday. The only thing she lacked was a big pot of gumbo for Christmas Eve supper and she planned on getting that on before she went to bed. Even though they were well able to hire a cook, Abby wasn’t ready to give up control of the kitchen.

  “I’m looking forward to the food more than Santa this year,” Trace confessed.

  “Did Trevor finally tell you there was no Santa?” She teased her brother, dodging a sofa pillow. “I guess everything is on track for Jase’s party?”

  “Yea, you should see the set-up we’ve got. Justice outfitted the deer camp into a man-cave hideaway. He has everything men could want to make them happy: big screen TVs, a kick-ass sound system, kegs, catered BBQ and shrimp. We’re meeting here and riding over together. People are already gathering. The party will go on ‘til daybreak.”

  “There was a stripper at Pam’s party. Will you guys have them?” She didn’t like to think about some gorgeous floozy taking off her clothes in front of Cade, especially when she’d refused to do the same thing for him. Walking to the window, she looked out at the frigid weather. Last night Cade had made it pretty clear he didn’t intend for their relationship to digress, even saying he loved her which made Abby nervous. Surely, it was passion talking. She’d tried to envision a scenario where all of this would work out, and she couldn’t. The only place she would be was out in the cold. The irony of her thought made her smile wryly.

  Trace was in a better mood. “Of course we’ll have strippers, lookers, two of them—Candi Cream and Ginger Ice. I booked them myself.”

  “Oh, my goodness!” She laughed. “We only had one. Get this…Dr. Cocktapus!”

  “Ha! Did you get wound up in his tentacles?”

  “Ewww.” Abby made a face. “I managed to steer clear of him. Where did they come from? There aren’t any clubs around here. Did we have them flown in along with the Beluga caviar?”

  “No, I think they came down from Dallas.” All of a sudden Trace drew serious. “Can I tell you something?”

  “Of course.” Abby sat down to listen. “You’re my favorite brother.”

  “I knew that,” he answered with confidence. Then, he leaned closer. “Trevor and I are interested in the same girl.”

  “No!” Abby almost fell off her chair. “Really? Tell me about her.”

  Trace shook his head. “Well, we don’t really know much. She’s a little on the mysterious side.”

  “How? I thought you two had a code so this wouldn’t happen.”

  “We do.” Trace looked a bit miserable. “This girl slipped through the crack. I met her at the Hex Rally on campus and she bowled me over. We talked for a few minutes. I even kissed her.”

  “What’s her name?” Abby smelled the air. “My cookies!” She raced over to the oven and pulled out a batch of double chocolate chip.

  “Her name is Macy. Long blonde hair, big blue eyes…” Abby laughed when Trace’s eyes glazed over, lost in the memory.

  “What about Trevor?”

  “He came home from Austin City Limits and declared he was in love, but when he showed me her photo on his phone, it was Macy.” Trace grabbed a cookie from the pan and yelled when it burned his fingers. />
  “If you’ll give me a second, I’ll get you a cool one.” Abby wanted to tease her brother about his romantic entanglements, but she could see he didn’t consider it a laughing matter. “So, how are you two going to work it out?”

  “I don’t know. Neither one of us wants to step aside. We may have to duel over her.”

  “There’s no contest. Macy is into me.” Trevor sounded sure of himself as he sauntered into the room from the hallway. “Abby, you’ve got a letter and a package. Someone left it up at the office.”

  “Good.” She closed the oven door, set the hot cookie sheet on a rack and came over to see if it was what she’d been hoping for. While she was tearing the envelope open, she looked at her brothers. They were joking and laughing. She was relieved. Fighting over a woman had torn up plenty of sibling relationships.

  “Where’s Cade?” Shiloh asked as he came in the room, lured by the smell of fresh-baked goodies.

  “He’s with Jase. They’re checking out a new colt Shalimar delivered this morning.” Quickly, she scanned the letter and breathed a sigh of relief.

  “What’s that?” The twins were looking over her shoulder. “Damn.” Trace grabbed the piece of paper from her hand. “Cade is being inducted into the Cowboy Hall of Fame?”

  “Yes.” Abby grabbed the document back. “He’s three times World Championship Cowboy, seven time NFR qualifier and has two PRCA Championship Steer Roping titles.”

  “One would think you were his agent or cheerleader…or something…” Trevor drawled. “Did you nominate him?”

  “Yes,” she said slowly. “Our family has nominated several people in the past, you know that.”

  “Don’t get defensive,” Trace teased her. “You don’t have to explain.”

  “No, I don’t.” She quickly put the package under the counter. She didn’t want her brothers to know she’d ordered special commemorative items with the COWBOY HALL OF FAME inductee info engraved on them. Abby intended them to go under the Christmas tree for Cade. A smile warmed her face as she remembered what they’d done under the tree. Her favorite memories of Christmas had been changed forever.

  “Can we tell him?” Shiloh asked with a grin, knowing her answer already.

  “No!” Abby didn’t get any more of a protest out because the door opened again. This time it was Jase and Cade. Abby wasn’t surprised all the brothers were congregating at her place. They were hiding. The main house was full of wedding guests, some of them strangers.

  Cade’s eyes sought her out immediately. He was probably unhappy because she had been up and out of bed before him again this morning, needing to travel east of Nacogdoches to check out a herd infested with EHD, a hemorrhagic condition caused by a biting fly called a midge. She’d treated the cattle and taught the rancher how to modify the bank structure of his ponds to discourage the breeding of the insect. Cade had called her, telling her that would be the last damn time she sneaked off without waking him up. The memory of his sweet gruffness made Abby smile. He probably realized the light of day drove her away, the possibility of the sheet being pushed down and her clothes riding up to reveal her scars haunted her – she couldn’t rest.

  “I want to talk to you.” He mouthed the words to her from across the room and her heart rate sped up.

  “Okay,” she answered silently, knowing he wanted to tell her more about his future plans, which couldn’t possibly include her.

  “Isn’t it time to go? I’m ready to party!” Jase grabbed a handful of cookies and kissed Abby on the cheek.

  “Yea, I have a surprise for you in the truck.” Shiloh slapped his brother on the back.

  “What kind of surprise?” Jase looked intrigued. “Is it a woman?”

  The brothers shook their heads, amused. “I think you have your hands full, don’t you?”

  Shiloh couldn’t stand it, he let the cat out of the bag. “It’s something you’ve been wanting a long time, a handmade saddle by Dirk Lancaster.”

  Jase stood, stunned. He knew what this meant. The cost wasn’t the issue. It was the rarity. Lancaster only made three saddles a year and they were some of the finest craftsmanship in the country, inlaid silver and meticulous engravings. “I don’t know what to say. Thank you.” He hugged Shiloh. “I can’t wait to see it.” Turning to the others, he teased. “So, what are you all giving me?”

  “A hard time, that’s what.” Trace chimed in. In just a few moments, they were headed out. But Cade didn’t join them.

  “Aren’t you going?” she asked him. She held on to the back of the couch to keep from running to him. Her head knew this couldn’t work, but her body and heart had a mind of their own.

  “No, I’d rather be here with you. Jase understands. We need to talk.” He had set some plans in motion, he still needed to talk to Jase and the others but he and Justice had come to terms. Cade was hoping to buy a piece of El Camino to go with the Harbison spread. The best of both worlds – connected to the King’s, yet separate – a place to raise a family and still be near the people he loved. But first, he and Abby had to get on the same page.

  Oh, brother. He was moving toward her—slowly. There was definitely something on his mind. Stalling for time, she asked, “Does Jase seem happy to you?”

  “Truthfully? No. But it’s not my place, nor yours to interfere. We might not fully understand their connection. As you and I can attest, relationships can be complicated.”

  “I know, I just want him to be happy.” Abby stood her ground, but she had no defense against him. Cade walked up to her, slipped an arm under her knees and picked her up. She held on to his neck. “What are you doing?”

  “Making myself happy.” In a moment they were sitting on the couch, and she was in his lap.

  “What’s wrong?” She asked, he looked so serious. Abby felt small in his arms. If she were surer of herself, she’d love to run her hands over his shoulders and arms. His mouth was so kissable. She braced her hands on his chest and studied his expression.

  “Nothing’s wrong. I just want to clear the air.” Cade looked serious.

  Oh, no. That couldn’t be good. “About what?”

  “Us.” He’d spent all day worrying and planning this moment, there was no way they were going to solve this problem other than just to meet it head on.

  The idea that there was an ‘us’ took her breath. “Alright.”

  Cade took her chin in his hand and Abby’s breath hitched in her throat.

  “I know why you’ve been hiding from me. I know what happened in the fire.”

  Abby felt herself crumple. Immediately she removed her hands from his body and started to get up.

  “No. You’re not going anywhere.” Cade was adamant and held on tight.

  Abby felt her body flush with mortification. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

  Cade crushed her in his arms. “Stop it, Abby.” His voice dropped to a low, harsh whisper. “God, if only I had known! You thought I was in that burning barn? You ran into hell to save me?”

  Abby didn’t know what to say. She let her arms creep around his neck. Was he crying?

  “Do you know what it does to me to think you were hurt and in pain and I wasn’t told?” He buried his face in her hair. “I left that day thinking you and I had a future to look forward to. Don’t you realize I’ve loved you all of my damn life?”

  “Cade, Cade, I wish it could have been different.” Abby’s heart was breaking.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked with anguish.

  Abby pushed away from him, wiping tears from her own eyes. “Afterward, there was no use. It was all over.”

  “All over?” He didn’t follow. “Nothing was over as far as I was concerned. You decided it was over.”

  “It had to be.” She shuddered with the memory, wrapping her arms around herself. “I was ruined.”

  Fuck! “Ruined?” He ran his hands over her hair, down her arms, finally framing her face. “You are here. In my arms. There isn’t a damn thing abo
ut you ruined!”

  “You don’t know. You haven’t seen.” She shook her head, her emotions almost to the breaking point.

  “No, I haven’t. But I want to.” Cade whispered tenderly.

  “No!” She pushed at his chest. “You just don’t realize…”

  Cade was gentle, but he held on to her, preventing her escape. “Did you honestly think this would matter to me? I cherish you, all of you!”

  “I can’t. I just can’t.” Abby felt as if her world were caving in. A horrible feeling of panic was consuming her. She was shaking, trembling, filled with nerve-wracking anxiety.

  Cade could see she was very upset, and he wasn’t going to stand for it. “Come here, let me hold you. It’s okay. We’ll do it your way. I’d rather have you this way, any day, than any other woman in the world.”

  She let him hold her. “I wish…I want…” She hiccupped a sob. Cade began kissing her.

  “Don’t you dare cry.” He cradled her close. “Just let me love you, that’s all I ask.” He stroked her back, loving the way she felt, the way she smelled. “You’re my baby. Don’t you know that?” To his absolute relief he felt her lips press soft kisses on his neck. He accepted the caress and didn’t try to rush her, but when she sought out his mouth, he cooperated fully. “God, I want you Abby. I want you all the time.”

  She framed his face and began kissing him. No one could say this was a gentle, easy kiss. It was hungry and passionate and smack full of lust. Cade pulled her against him, his cock pressing into her belly. “Take me, Cade. Make me yours.”

  “I want you here. Now. Like last night. Bend over the couch.” This time they didn’t even undress, which was fine with Abby. He stood, took his erect cock from his pants and pumped himself, watching her arrange herself over the padded arm. He flipped the little skirt up on her back and with one jerk, tore the silky panties she wore completely off.